Wednesday, October 14, 2009

ying yang

Where is this place? Oh well im sure I'll find it. I have been to Res. before, although I dont have much time to party these days. That reminds me I still have to finish a paper for thursday. Thats Ok, I can start working on it between classes tomorrow at the Argus. That way I still have time to edit it a few times tomorrow night. Ok I think this is it. Yeah thats him. Definately him. there is no mistaking that head of hair. He might actually be cute if he got cleaned up a little. I gotta clear my stuff of the seat for him.

Rain spatters over the windsheild blurring the nightlights of the city. "Lord almighty, Learn to drive!" I was not expecting this girl to have road rage. Those glasses of hers are perched on the the bridge of her nose and she scans the road like an eagle scans the water. She points with her left hand " That is the street where my Grandmother lives. She is really really religious. She is crazy strict like you wouldn't believe. One time ..." There she goes again. I haven't heard about this grandmother yet but I have been given a lot stories so far. Each new landmark or street sign is the title for another story. I wonder if she is just babbling nervously or just a really friendly motormouth. I have been reading her since I got in the car and I can tell she has been doing the same.
"So where are you from?"She asks. I'll let her take the lead, that will give me the chance to think of questions.
"Elliot Lake. It is a small town and it is full of seniors."
"Oh I have heard of Elliot Lake. Do you know .....?" I hate playing the you know so and so game especially when dealing with my home town. I suppose Have to bite the bullet. The sooner get this out of the way the sooner we can have a real conversation.

He seems quiet. This might go better if i can get him to say more than a few words at a time. Uh Oh! I hate drivers in this town. Don't they realise how stupid that kind of stuff is? What if someone gets killed. People sometimes, lord Joseph. I wanted to go to the Java hut but its packed, oh well I can cut across to memorial and go to Chapters. The sooner the better cause it would be nice to have a conversation face to face. That might get him to open up more.

Twenty minutes later and we have managed to find a coffee shop with a free table this time. Luckily we didnt get wet on the way from her car. Star bucks is crowded and murmurs with chatter. She wraps her peacoat around a chair and I sit across from her. I wonder what this girl's issues are? Everyone's got some. She pulls out a small tape recorder and places it ontop of her notepad.
"Do you mind if i tape you?"
"No not at all," I give it a litte goofy arrogance. My humour is what usually wins out. Well, until people found out how screwed up I am. As soon as we start talking family it will snowball from there. My parents split, I hate my dad and we are anything but a functional model family.
I get comfortable and layout my things. He sits slouched in across from me. His eyes complete with dark circles seem to gaze at nothing. I wonder what the burden he carries could be. I hope he does ok. I wonder if his father was the devil like mine? Well lets get this started shall we...


  1. Kyle,
    I like your post. I found it really interesting. At first I was a little confused about the POV's but once you got into it I realized the situation you were describing.
    One thing I'm wondering is if this really constitutes as "non fiction" unless you asked your interview partner for details on what she was thinking and feeling when she met up with you for this scenario.
    But besides that I really like how you weaved the two POVs together, using realistic dialogues and descriptions of the same things but from both POVs. It is a very creative and interesting idea.

  2. I agree with Meghan that some parts were confusing. I would have liked if I got to hear more of the conversation, like what happened when you two did start talking, but it was interesting nonetheless.
    I liked the 2 points of view, and it was easy to distinguish because of the formatting (the italics for the girl's thoughts) and because one was male and one was female.
    I also liked the dialogue part, talking about Elliot Lake. I liked how you mixed your thoughts with the dialogue, so we can read what you're thinking when you were talking and listening.
    I'm fron Kenora, so I often have to play the "do you know so-and-so game" as well. It's annoying. I'd like to hear more about your home town. Since coming to university, I've met so many people who just don't understand the dynamics of a small (or small-ish) Northern Ontario town, and it often gets frustrating. I can kind of see some of that feeling coming through when you talk about Elliot Lake.
    Thanks for the post!

  3. Wow, this is going to be awkward to comment on... LOL.

    I think you deserve a lot of credit for what you are trying to accomplish here. It's hard trying to read someone's thoughts (especially mine :P). I think that keeping it on your perspective would have made the exchange more interesting. Because you are describing this girl, she's really your character. You can form her through your responses to her yappiness, strange curses, etc.. :P

    I think the perspective that you're character brings are particularly honest. When you know your subject is reading this, you can either sugarcoat it or be forthcoming. You're honesty was definitely a risk but it makes your perspective much more interesting.

    Maybe instead say something like "I wonder what she's thinking. Maybe she's thinking....".

    I definitely got a laught out of this. Great job Kyle. :)

  4. This is such a cute piece. It did take me a moment to realize that we were switching between two characters’ POVs, but I found I really enjoyed that concept. And the fact that everything is so stream-of-consciousness really made me feel like I was in the heads of these two.
    But I did have some problems. There are a lot of grammar and spelling errors, which were hugely distracting to me, probably because I’m an English major. Maybe you could write up your pieces in Word or run them through spell check or something, or get someone to do a quick edit for you? Other than that I really liked this post.

  5. Kyle,
    Jumping between narratives made it very confusing for me at the start, after reading further I was able to figure out what you were doing. I liked the mystery behind what was going on but I am not sure if the blog is non-fiction. Maybe if you would have said something about how you could only imagine that the girl was thinking those things. I thought it was a great blog, I could really feel tension and conflict which made me want to keep reading to figure out what was going on.
    Cassie B

  6. Hello Kyle!
    You have a unique perspective that makes your writing fun to read. However, there are quite a few mistakes which hurt the enjoyment of the piece. Also, as enjoyable as the tone of your story was, I found myself asking that writing cliché “so what”. It almost seems like a precursor, an intro, into a longer story. You hint at things, but never show them at any length. You have the skills to tell this story, but I think it needs focus in order for it to come out great. I hope this helps!